There's nothing worse than being stuck, whether it's in traffic, at the doctor's office waiting for an appointment, or dealing with frustrating computer freezes that demand a reboot.
Sometimes, being stuck is beyond our control, while other times, especially in our personal lives, options, decisions, and actions are available to help us move from being stuck to starting over.
So, how can we get out of the rut and restart in the new year? Here are three simple ways to consider:
1. Develop the Discipline of Noticing the Good
There’s one question parents ask their children from the youngest of ages. My parents asked it of me, and I asked it of my kids. After children receive a gift from someone, parents always ask their kids— "What do you say?" The child is supposed to respond with, “Thank you.”
Why do we do this? Because we want our children to be grateful people and we know that when our children possess the discipline to say thanks, they just might develop a heart of gratitude. As adults, many of us seem to have lost the ability to notice the good, express thanks, and feel genuine gratitude.
Why is it so challenging to focus on what is good in life instead of what is not? Has our entitlement become so entrenched that we struggle to see the positive? Regardless of the reasons, in the new year, it's crucial to develop the discipline of counting our blessings.
Being stuck often results from a downward spiral of negative thinking rooted in ingratitude. Life can be tough, and there are times when it feels unbearable. However, acknowledging life's challenges doesn't mean life is stuck. Perhaps your feeling of being stuck is more in your head than in the reality of your experiences? Take time to reflect, write down, and appreciate the many blessings in your life. Make this a daily practice to begin seeing life in a new light.
2. Forgive Yourself
Regret can be paralyzing, especially when dealing with major blunders. There are two ways to approach mistakes in life: ignore or minimize them, leading to little personal growth, or experience forgiveness—both from God and toward ourselves.
Forgiveness is not about denying errors or minimizing their impact. It requires acknowledging your mistakes, fully owning them, and accepting the consequences. True forgiveness involves letting go of the right and expectation to punish yourself, while still learning from your mistakes and moving forward.
Without forgiveness, regrets can eat away at your life. Since the past cannot be changed, accepting responsibility, forgiving yourself, learning, and moving forward are essential steps to becoming a better, more whole person. Let 2024 be the year you move past regret.
3. Embrace New Actions in the Coming Year
Scientists define inertia as the tendency of a body at rest to remain at rest or a body in straight-line motion to stay in motion unless acted on by an outside force. Your life currently follows a certain trajectory or inertia—either at rest or moving in a specific direction. In other words, your life will continue unchanged unless you take bold, different steps. With courage, embracing new actions in the coming year can alter the trajectory of your life. It's not easy, but it is entirely possible.
You may have heard the saying, "The magic you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding." Take this to heart as you embark on the journey of change and growth in the coming year.
I'd love to hear your biggest takeaway, questions or comments. Please email me! I read and respond to every email.
Mike Ayers, Ph.D.
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