Parenting is an ongoing, sometimes messy journey. In the chaos of daily life, it’s easy to get caught up in the frustrations and lose sight of the bigger picture. But as a dad, you’re shaping your child’s future—not just in the short-term, but for a lifetime. The faith and values you instill in them now will have a lasting impact, and is potentially the greatest gift you give them in life. But how can you intentionally pass down your faith in a way that sticks?
Non-Negotiables of Influence: What You Must Know
1. Your Influence is More Certain than Conditional
Here’s the truth: You will impact your child. It’s not a question of whether, but how—through your words, actions, and the way you live. Your influence is unavoidable. The question isn’t whether you’ll shape your child’s faith, but whether you’ll do so by design or by default. Will you be intentional about passing down your faith, or will you let life happen by chance?
2. Your Influence is More Caught than Taught
A common misconception is that faith is passed down in structured, formal lessons or “the talk.” But in reality, values—especially spiritual ones—are caught more than they’re taught. Children learn far more from how you live than from what you say. Your actions, your priorities, and the way you handle life’s ups and downs speak louder than any sermon. Your kids will remember how you treated others, how you dealt with stress, and how you modeled love for God—not necessarily the specific Bible verses or lessons you shared. If your actions don’t align with your words, the lessons you’re trying to teach won’t take root.
3. Your Influence is More Long-Term than Short-Lived
Raising children is like planting seeds. You don’t always see immediate results, and sometimes it feels like you’re putting in effort without any tangible payoff. But keep in mind—the dividends will come. The faith you instill today might not show up tomorrow, but over time, it will grow. Just as plants need time to mature, so too does the faith you nurture in your kids. Keep making those deposits, even when you don’t see the fruit right away. Trust that the return is certain, even if it’s long-term.
A Father’s Legacy: The Shema and the Call to Pass Down Faith
One of the most important Scriptures for passing down faith is the Shema from Deuteronomy 6:4-9. This passage is one of the cornerstones of Israel’s faith and calls parents to impress faith upon their children, making it a natural part of daily life.
"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." (Deuteronomy 6:4-7)
Notice how faith is woven into the fabric of everyday life. It’s not about scheduled moments of teaching—it’s about constantly pointing to God throughout all of life’s experiences. You are the first line of defense in shaping your child’s faith. If you don’t actively pass down your values and beliefs, someone or something else will fill that void.
How to Inspire Your Children: Practical Steps for Dads
1. Set Expectations for a Life Well-Lived
Every child has great potential, and as a father, it’s your role to help them recognize it. Set the bar high, but offer grace. Teach your kids that life isn’t about achieving worldly success, but about living with integrity, love, and purpose. The world will tell them otherwise, but it’s your job to model a life rooted in faith and eternal values.
2. Have an Authentic Faith Yourself
It's impossible to give what you don't possess. The most effective way to pass on your faith is by living it authentically. Kids can spot a fake from a mile away. If you want your children to love God, practice what you preach. Live with honesty, humility, and integrity. Model the behaviors and attitudes that reflect a genuine faith. Your example will speak volumes more than any lecture or church attendance ever will.
3. Help Them Interpret Failure
Failure is inevitable, but it’s also an opportunity for grace and growth. Religion can often turn into piety and legalism. Don’t let the caricature of God as the “cosmic policeman” seep into your faith or your child’s. No one is perfect and the goal of faith is not perfection, but grace and forgiveness. Teach your kids that their worth is not defined by their mistakes, and that God offers forgiveness and second chances. Help them understand that failure isn’t the end; it’s part of their journey. Encourage them to learn from their mistakes and grow in faith.
4. Pray for Your Children Daily
Ask God to guide them, protect their hearts, and grow their faith. Prayer is one of the most powerful ways you can shape their spiritual journey, even when you’re not around. Pray for your kids. Pray with your kids. Never underestimate the power of a father’s prayer. As Abraham Lincoln said, “I remember my mother’s prayers, and they have always followed me.” Your prayers will have an eternal impact on your children’s lives.
Above all, the most important gift you can give your children is the gift of Jesus. His love, grace, and presence are the foundation of a life well-lived. In a world full of distractions and competing idols—sports, success, social acceptance—it’s important to make sure your children know that Jesus comes first. Joshua 24:14-15 calls us as parents to choose whom we will serve.
The world will constantly pull your children in different directions, but you must lead them to choose Christ above all else. Help them understand that true fulfillment comes from living for Him, not for the fleeting things the world offers. Teach your kids that their identity is rooted in Christ, not in the fleeting things the world values.
Mike Ayers, Ph.D.
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