The seeds of my desire to become a father were sown at a young age, perhaps as early as 14 or 15. Growing up in a household marked by alcoholism and chaos fueled within me a desire to have a stable, loving family— to have children that I would care for, protect and for whom I would sacrifice. Yet, I would be 30 years old before my dream of fatherhood would come to pass.
On November 29, 1992, I cradled our firstborn in my arms, a son we named Ryan. In that instant, a wave of awe and emotion surged through me— a feeling I believe most fathers experience when holding their newborns for the first time. All in one moment a profound mix of responsibility, joy and trepidation swept over me; then I felt deep resolve as I promised myself “I will give my very best to this little boy.”
A child was born that day, but also a dad.
Around 2,000 years ago, on the eve of Jesus’ birth, Joseph of Nazareth, having endured a nine-month wait, would respond to inquiries about the arrival of his son with a calm “Any day now.” Perhaps he too had longed for a family for many years? Certainly, he never thought it would happen with angel messengers and a virgin birth!
Jesus would be his firstborn and Joseph had never witnessed a woman giving birth. He had heard stories about the intensity of the moment and the rush of emotions, yet nothing truly prepares a first-time dad for the experience of witnessing the miracle of birth.
The night before their son was born, they had finally arrived at their destination. They travelled 90 miles (about 30 hours) to arrive in Bethlehem. Just as they entered the town, Mary felt contractions. Joseph scrambled to find a place suitable for the birth, but the inn was full. The innkeeper offered a stable. It would have to do.
In a human sense, Joseph and Mary were alone. No family. No mother or midwife to help with the birth. After all, helping a woman through labor was the work of experienced women, not a young man. Joseph would have to step up... and that’s exactly what he did. Joseph rose to the occasion on that night and at every subsequent moment following the angel’s appearance in his dream. Joseph manned up.
The Christ-child was born. The promise to this husband and wife, and to all humanity had been fulfilled.
As I reflect upon this new father in that moment, I imagine, just like with me, a profound mix of responsibility, joy and trepidation swept over Joseph; and that he also felt deep resolve as he promised himself “I will give my very best to this little boy.”
A baby was born that day, but also a dad.
From what we know in the biblical record, Joseph was indeed a good father to Jesus. All that Jesus grew up to be... honorable, persevering, faith-filled, loving, sacrificial, hard-working... all were fruit from seeds planted by the character and competence of his earthly father.
Dads, let's reflect on the father in the Christmas narrative and ponder a simple question: How can I emulate the remarkable qualities of a man and father as found in the person of Joseph?
1. I can be a man of honor.
The Bible says Joseph was righteous in character, a man of integrity, and gracious and honorable in the treatment of his wife.
2. I can take responsibility for my home.
Joseph was called to be the earthly father of the Messiah. He accepted that call and with courage, he stepped forth to fulfill it with all he had. He sacrificed, served and endured for the sake of his wife and child.
3. I can invest time in my children and lead them.
As an honorable Jewish man Joseph was the primary educator of his son. He taught Jesus about the realities of life. He bestowed knowledge and common sense. But Joseph also trained Jesus in a trade by which to earn a living— carpentry. It’s obvious that Joseph was consistently present in his son’s life teaching, training and influencing him.
4. I can exemplify true masculinity.
Joseph was a man’s man. As a skilled carpenter, he worked diligently with his hands to ensure the well-being of his family. Joseph prioritized his family (see Luke 2:41-42). Despite playing a significant role in the birth and upbringing of Jesus, the scriptures provide limited details about Joseph. This seems to suggest a humility that led him to act behind the scenes, consistently placing his family's needs before his own. The path he walked was not about him. It was a burden to carry for the sake of others. He would take responsibility where he didn’t have to; he would risk his reputation when he didn’t have to; and, he would do it not for himself, but for Mary and Jesus. That’s what a true man does— serves, sacrifices and displays humility for the sake of his family.
5. I can model authentic faith for my children.
God called Joseph and he answered. Despite risk to his honorable reputation, despite a difficult path to walk, and despite this huge responsibility to accept, Joseph obeyed. His faith transcended the superficial; it was authentic and unwavering.
Three decades after that night in Bethlehem, Joseph’s son would emulate the genuine, courageous faith of his earthly father. Like his dad, he too would wholeheartedly follow the Father in Heaven, and do so regardless of the cost.
Joseph is only mentioned in the scripture when Jesus is young. He vanishes from the biblical record after Jesus turns 12. In contrast, Mary is mentioned all the time throughout the adult ministry of Jesus. Most scholars believe that while Jesus was a still young man, before he entered into ministry, that his father died.
Yet, from this humble and honorable man, there is much to learn. As men and fathers, let us find the courage to follow his example.
I'd love to hear your biggest takeaway, questions or comments. Please contact me! I read and respond to every email.
Mike Ayers, Ph.D.
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